KGBMan:

 

Leah - you traumatized me with the eggbeater images playing in me head now. I'm seeking therapy !! 

you asked.... 

Leah:

KGBMan:

 

Leah - you traumatized me with the eggbeater images playing in me head now. I'm seeking therapy !! 

you asked.... 

I have to admit, I am intrigued about eggbeater too.

Muidugi:

Leah:

KGBMan:

 

Leah - you traumatized me with the eggbeater images playing in me head now. I'm seeking therapy !! 

you asked.... 

I have to admit, I am intrigued about eggbeater too.

I'll show you later.  ;) 

Leah,

You win. Please bring your egg-beaters and head over to my place.  My immortal soul will be in an envelope on the nightstand next to my bed.  I'll be waiting!

lol

 

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"Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable."

I usually just talk. Simply. About things. No flirting.

NOW ATLANTA, I AM IN TROUBLE.

My ex is coming back for a while on business (from the States). It's been 3.5 years since we split.

He's still single, I am single, though all kind of things were going on for these years (I guess with him too).

I have a feeling (and always had it) that he'll start "working on me". My problem is - we can communicate so well when just dating, but ABSOLUTELY unable to live under the same roof (just for your info: I left cuz of him being way too controlling in terms of everyhting: where to go/not to go, how to spend money, etc.). I am an independent woman, I am OK on my own, know how to make money, have my own place now (and yeah, i case you wonder - I never took 50% of everything - at that point I just wanted my freedom).

I guess I have matured for these years, but I do believe that people DO NOT CHANGE in general.

In case of "re-union" scenario it's going to be "we try our best" for the first half a year, then - he'll try to take the control on everything again. It's similar to being a "clean freak".

And funny thing - I went through it already at 26 (speaking of "second chances").

Question: WHAT TO DO???? I mean what line of beheivior to choose?

I don't want to fight, I want to "be friends" - but is it possible to be friends with exes if noone is taken still?I

It was so simple: out of sight out of mind.

F....k. I want to go to some other country now. Again. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Alina:

I usually just talk. Simply. About things. No flirting.

Don't believe it. You may not view it as flirting, but it is if you want that man later on ...

NOW ATLANTA, I AM IN TROUBLE.

Question: WHAT TO DO???? I mean what line of beheivior to choose?

Simple, you wanna sleep with him or not ?

That would be the defining question. 

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- Независимость - это когда в 20-й раз наступаешь на одни и те же грабли, а русские уже ни при чем....

Alina,   I don't think it's possible to have a successful friendship with your ex.    In my experience, once two people have been intimate, the relationship has been fundamentally altered to a point that the relationship is either successful or not.  In other words,  no going back. 

My advice,  no contact,  courtesy exchanges of conversation only, and avoid alone time at all costs, thereby avoiding temptation and the opportunity to be manipulated.

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Make each day count to improve yourself and those around you

It sounds like you and your ex have a strong bond.
People do not change.  If things are hot, hot, hot he will want more of you (he will start ‘working on you’).  I don’t know how you will react to that.  Are you the ‘giving in’ type that will let him convince you to try just one more time?  Or can you be strong and have fun, but not let things get all messy again?  The answer to that question should determine how far you let things go.  From reading your post, it sounds like you don’t trust yourself  emotionally.   It sounds like you are so worried about giving in that it would be easier to move to a new country than deal with him?  That's pretty strong chemistry if it takes international relocation to avoid his charms.
The best policy is honesty.  Just tell him how you feel, and see if you can have fun.  You two have a lot of history so you should respect that (IMHO).
I always try to stay friends with my ex-lovers.  Generally, it doesn’t work out.  But it’s still my policy.  
 If you firmly decide that you do not want to get re-involved, then avoid that first bottle of wine with him.  Once that cork comes out, you are about one hour away from messy physical and emotional entanglements that will take you years to recover from (or international relocation)…

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"Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable."

NO!

But

I definitely see us together in like 15-20 years. I never though about anyone else this way.

 

 

 

It was a reply to KGBs post.

Like close relatvies, you know....

 

It was 5 years under the same roof.

Alina:

NO!

But

I definitely see us together in like 15-20 years. I never though about anyone else this way.

If it's no - why are you afraid that things will go out of hand ?

you're strong, you should be able to hold off his attempts at dragging you in the bed/relationship again.

And forget about 15-20 years. Chances that he be ready/available then are slim.

And, going back to the topic - that's flirting. oh yeah, baby. no denying it.

 

 

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- Независимость - это когда в 20-й раз наступаешь на одни и те же грабли, а русские уже ни при чем....

I am not talking about dragging/drinking, are you guys nuts there. Who do you think I was married to. I am not even talking about sex here.

I am talking about emotional comfort and 5 years of the history behind.

 Whatever, keep talking about the original subj.

lol

You are the one who brought up the issue of going down the same old path with this guy....and how you were worried you might need to move to yet another country...lol

Maybe we should be talking about your fear of committment? 

Maybe we should be talking about your unrealistic views of what you need out of a relationship?

Maybe we can talk about the frustration of never settling for 2nd best (in your marraige and now in your lonely single life) and your subsequent fear of dying old and alone - if your backup plan of keeping him on the line for 15 or 20 years doesn't work out?

Or we can go back to Leah and the egg-beaters....

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"Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable."

With all due respect to Alina,  I vote we explore Leah and her eggbeater

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Make each day count to improve yourself and those around you